One night at McChord Air Force Base in Washington, I was dispatched to check out the security fence where an alarm had gone off. The fence was at the end of the base runway. When I got to the scene, I found that a raccoon was the culprit, so I ran around and flapped my arms to scare off the animal. Suddenly an air-traffic controller came over the public-address system and announced loudly, "Attention to the airman at the end of the runway. You are cleared for takeoff." -- Chad Blake (Taken from http://www.rd.com/jokes/9536362/article9536362.html)
Choosing the Bride Malaysian Style
A mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son has not shown the slightest indication of getting married.
So one day she called him over to her house.
The son came home from work, grudgingly.
Upon arriving, he found that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose as his future bride.
The first one was a well-endowed telephonist-cum-receptionist.He immediately commented that: - “Aiyaa…mother, they always say……PLEASE HOLD ON, HOLD ON…..”
The second nominee was a leggy secretary.
This was rejected also. Reason being: - Aiyaa…mother, this one aaa…, secretary always fond of saying “PLEASE SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN….”
By this time, the mother is nearing frustration.
She called a sweet but plain-looking teacher. The son suddenly agreed!!
The mother was surprised & asked: - “Why this one? The previous two were a lot more betterlooking!”
He replied :- “Teachers aaa…. teachers vely good, vely good, always say:- PLEASE REPEAT, DO IT AGAIN, I Want it done 10 times……SOME MORE, SOME MORE..!”
Now come the small hero, her youngest son (10 years old), was listening quietly all this while at the other end of the room.
Suddenly, he shouted, “Brother….female mini bus conductor more better laa….they always say, “NAIK CEPAT,NAIK CEPAT. MASUK,MASUK. MASUK LAGI, DALAM LAGI. DALAM LAGILAAAAH, MASUK BELAKANG. BELAKANG LAGI, BELAKANG BANYAK KOSONG!”
(Taken from http://jokes.xblogger.net/index.php/2006/11/08/choosing-the-bride-malaysian-style/)
FookSiang Says...
*FookSiang says : When I was born, I got a choice - A big d*ck or a good memory. I am not able
to remember, what I chose.
*FookSiang says : Impotence is the nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.
*FookSiang says : Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
*FookSiang says : Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
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